I am frequently asked about the process of writing a memoir. Today I want to highlight a few of the steps I went through to complete my memoir and hope it will help you begin to take the first step to write yours. Everyone has a story, but we don’t always know it. I encourage everyone to write their story whether it is in a word document and a three-ring binder, a podcast, a blog, an audio recording, video, or book format.
When I first started writing my memoir, I did not know the difference between an autobiography and a memoir. I knew it would not be a boring account; it was full of tragedy as well as a story of resilience, overcoming, strength, and courage. I did not want it to be a chronological timeline of events, but a story, and I didn’t know where to begin. So, I sat down with a blank slate and began to write.
If I can give you one bit of advice, it would be not to worry so much about all the ins and outs that go into the writing of your memoir but to just start writing and find “your voice.”
First – set up a document, folders, and be sure to establish a working file for your draft copy. I typed in a word document; however, I did not know how to use the tools except just type, and that’s what I did. Don’t worry about chapters and the formalities as you can always change things around later as your story comes together. I had no references for the writing craft, structure, or steps needed when I began but it unfolded and came together as I was ready to take the next step.
Take time to reflect on what is important for you to write about and what you want to share with others. Think about who you are writing it for and continue to think about your readers’ audience throughout the process. We cannot always predict or know what will upset one person or another and a memoir requires authenticity, honesty, and transparency. It is your story. Be proud of yourself, and your journey, be candor about mistakes made, laugh at yourself, and don’t forget about all the lessons learned along the way.
You will laugh, cry, and at times want to give up, but I assure you, you will find your way back after you take a break. Doing a life review is not easy and is a time of reflection. Find time to write that works well for you and set goals for yourself. Maybe it is to sketch an outline, write a thousand words, or brainstorm ideas. Remind yourself of your purpose, and that you can do this. I am incredibly proud of my grandfather who wrote his life story in his eighties and gave each of us a copy. I cherish it to this day and often reminded of his fortitude with the gift he gave to us.
You will write and rewrite and rewrite many times. That is expected and normal. Take time to learn the writing craft. It will increase your knowledge, skills, and help you tap into resources. I signed up for workshops, visited the local library, joined social media groups, read books on writing, and found a local writing group. Depending on your purpose, there is a wealth of information available.
There are many steps in writing a memoir but don’t get too caught up in structure, editing, and other formalities right away. It will come together in time. It took me four years to complete my memoir, and everyone’s timeline is individual.
Write in a journal, take a notepad to a park, sit outside, and highlight important times in your life, and don’t be afraid to use emotion in your writing. Showing emotion in your writing helps readers connect with you and is a way to “show, don’t tell.”
Lastly, find joy in your writing, and define your measure of success for yourself.
For today, I hope you take the first step and start to draft your story.
Until next time – read, write, and learn…. J
